Rest In Peace Cameron. I love you

So 

I just found out- one of my buddies from high school died. 

Sad thing is, he died two months ago, and NO ONE TOLD ME.

 

Its not like I regularly go through the OBits or anything. 

 

 

So Cameron, Darling, this is for you,

 

 

<b> I Love You. 

Rest In Peace, Dear heart.

 

I will probably write more later, after the tears dry. 

 

 

I Love You.

 

 

Lucky

 

 

I couldn’t get Tickets!!!

I joined the Official JB fan club, and the site isnt letting me buy tickets for the Burning up Summer 08 Tour!!!

Oh well. They were’nt coming to FL anyway, i was jst trying to get tickets for one of the Cali shows, seeing as i will be in Cali at that time…

Oh well

God has a bigger plan

“I don’t know about you, but I had a good day…except for the bulk of it where I was nearly tortured to death.”

-Angel

Catsur- Tommy the Green Power Ranger

There once was a little girl, and she loved cats. She found a cat in her back yard while playing with two of her best friends. Her parents told her she may keep the cat if it came inside when she did. The cat followed her inside. So the girl’s parents told her she may keep it.

She named the cat after her favorite character of her favorite TV show, Tommy the Green Power Ranger.

The cat was immediately completely immersed in her life, and when her family moved, the cat came with. When the girl’s little brother was born a few months after the move, the cat would allow the baby boy to play with his tail, even pull on it hard, but the cat was always patient.

As the girl grew, they obtained new cats, Three in fact, all girls, and they never out lived the first male cat. .

Fast forward. The little girl of five and six is nineteen. Girl brings boys home. cat always checks to make sure the boys are ok for the girl to date

Girl comes home from college one day and see two dogs loose in her neighbor hood, just down the street from her house. She looks out the window and sees the cat lying in a neighbor’s yard.
“That’s weird,” She thinks, “He never sleeps there, I hope he’s not dead”. She thinks immediatly after, “What a strange thought. I need to investigate.”

The girl walks over to the cat. Blood is on his mouth. his neck is broken. The girl runs back into her house and calls her father. She is sobbing. She cannot beleive it.

Her cat is dead.

They wrapped him up in the sunday orange section of the newspaper, his tail limp and his mouth still covered in blood. Her father digs a hole, and the girl can’t bear to watch as her precious cat is dropped into the hole.

“I just planted that new camillia bush, that’s why we should bury him here” Her father reasons. She picks up a lawn gnome she got for christmas, and asks if it can be a sort of grave marker. Her father says “I guess”. She cannot stop crying. The police are there to get the two dogs that have killed her cat. The owner is called to come pick up his dogs. A boy she knew from school is his son. She fakes a smile. The boy fakes a smile right back. She is trying not to cry.

A neighbor woman who lost her husband a few weeks ago calls across the street when she sees the girl’s father with a shovel. She asks what is going on. The police cars have confused her. Her father replies off handedly that his favorite cat is dead. The girl cannot fight back the tears. She has to turn away. She sobs into the sleeve of her favorite jacket, the one that says “I LIVE FOR DANGER”. The tears don’t wash out.

The neighbor woman hugs the girl as the father throws dirt onto the hole with the body of the cat. She leans against a column and cries noislessly, thinking of how her cat had always checked to see if her friends were safe, remembering the best friends who had helped her the day she found the cat, remembering the time that one of the best friend’s mothers came over and the cat terrorized her by rubbing up against her leg. The cat was smart. He could always sense when someone was afraid of him. He extorted their fear to much amusement of the family.

She sits down and strokes the back of her other cat, the one that the other cat died to protect from the neighbors dogs. She cries as she reads her Rolling Stone Magazine when it comes in the mail, noting that her favorite band’s album is number 22 of the top forty records. Finally she goes to her computer and writes an email to one of the friends that was there the day they found the cat.

She tells him she is dead. The friend is sorry.

She sits at her computer and signs on to her blog. She proceeds to write.

The only emperor is the emperor of Ice-cream.

Rest In Peace- Tommy the Green Power Ranger.

You are missed.

Lucky

Happy Easter!!!

So I got to play my guitar today! And no one even told me to stop!!!

HOORAY
I’m trying to learn the Pat Kickley song- “Grandpa’s Lullaby”

I know like the first five notes. Other then that, my easter was awesomeee

how was yours??

lucky

Guitar

So I’m thinking I might have to sell my guitar. It makes me incredibly sad, but the way its ending up, everytime I try to practice, It’s not the right time. I feel like my parents are just waiting to hear my tuning it and they come in and give me some totally random chore like trimming the house or something.
The play went really well, but I’m just emotionally drained, and I really wanted to relax because I had an idea for a song, and I swear as soon as I start strumming, my dad comes in and is like “GO DYE EASTER EGGS” and I’m like “Dad, I just want to get this song out” and he’s like “NO, Go dye easter eggs” and I’m like “just give me a second!” and he goes “Fine, If you’re going to be like that just stay here”

Of course at this point there’s almost no point in trying to strum out the song because I am so angry

I Still am.

I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHY I FEEL LIKE EVERYONE IS AGAINST ME
I KNOW THEY ARE NOT

IT JUST FEELS THAT WAY

*I dont want to sell my guitar, its my baby, but I keep feeling like its an Inconveinience on my family for me to have it. seriously*

Sad Sad Sad

Lucky Learns the Hard way…

So it’s the last night of my play and I have to leave in a minute, but first I have to stop crying.

My friend promised to come see my show and we have reserve seats and whatnot, and so I was gonna send two to him. Then he calls me and is like My parents need a babysitter. I’m So sorry, I really wanted to come see it but I know you’ll do well. he left it on my voicemail. I don’t blame him at all. Its just frustrating, because that is the EIGHTH person to cancel on me, So I have 3 reserve tickets that I can’t give out now.

Its not His fault I’m too emotional. I’m definitly learning the hard way not to get too excited about promises, because most likely they will be broken. It doesn’t help that I’ve had a crush on this boy for over a year and a half now. Geez.

I pray I can get through this. I know I can. It’s just hard right now. And maybe I’m just being dramatic. Wouldn’t be the first time…

Lucky

She Screams in her Pillow for a better Tomorrow- YO THAT’S ILLOGICAL! I CAN’T HAVE IT!!!

Jonas Brothers

So as of this next sunday, it will have been two weeks since I attended the Jonas Brothers “When you Look Me in the Eyes” Tour 2008 Show in Orlando.

I have to say, it was definitly the best night of my life so far

Right now, I am waiting to go to dinner with the fam, and I really feel bad because I haven’t written in a while, I’ve been using my paper journal instead. Life is soo complicated when you have multiple journals/blogs.

The most frustrating thing right now is that we are doing the show this week, and we have only two shows left. it has been fun, but my Costar who plays my husband DOESN”T KNOW HIS LINES,BLOCKING OR OTHERWISE!!! he’s like “Im A PROFESSIONAL” And we’re all like , YEAH A PROFESSIONAL IDIOT!!!!!!!

ugh.

so this is my life.

Peace and loveee

Lucky

long time no see

Hey all!
I feel really bad because I haven’t written for a bit, I’m a writer, why am I not writing??

well pretty much everything is ssdd around here, I ran into a few new people at school, and play practice has been going well, if you call four hours of non stop characterization well, which I do.
the problem is I haven’t been able to play my guitar.

and the boy i like, yea, he’s not talking to me.

great for my prayer life
peace out
i know this is short, but i have to get some homework done!!!

much loveeee

LUCky

Bent and Broken- time to End this FriENDship?

I’m currently listening to Switchfoot’s “The Beautiful Letdown”. “Meant to Live”

Everything inside screams for second life….

So I was completely irrational last night, and early this morning to everyone I came into contact with, namely my mother, father, and little brother. To you I am sincerly and relentlessly sorry.
Last night I went over to my friend’s house for our traditional friday night movie night. Normally, its just me, her and her ex boyfriend, whom we are both really good friends with. Her mother makes us this amazing pizza, and there are snacks galore. I’ve known this girl since my junior and her sophomore year in high school, so it’s a good time to catch up on all the happenings at my old high school, because naturally I miss all my old high school friends.
Well last night was tense, let me tell you. Another girl, who is my friend, but may not be right now, decided to come also. I was excited to see her, lets call her “Angel”, and she brought along her “best friend” who happens to like her, and she likes him back. Mind you, she has a boyfriend. So it’s definitly hard core drama. Well, the boys didn’t show up until later, and the first thing “Angel” says to me is-”Jeez, Lucky, your butt is huge!! Talk about a Freshman 15!!” I decide to laugh this off, because that is my response to everything. Besides, I hadn’t seen “Angel” in a while, and I missed her. So we put on some music while we waited for the boys to arrive. We started dancing, and she was like “your jeans are too tight, you definitly can’t get as low as me!” and I continued to laugh off her rudeness.

Until the boys came. The hostess’s mother served us some pizza, and I hadn’t eaten lunch, so I was starving. So when I finished my first plate, the mother asked if we wanted more, and I said yes. To which “Angel” replied, “of course you do, Piggy”. Now lets get this straight. When I was younger, one of my favorite books was “The Lord of the Flies” by William Golding. My least favorite character in this book has always been the character “Piggy”, so this really hit home. Plus, she had said it in front of the boys. She makes another comment, and I am silent, because her comments are really hurting, and she’s like “geez, no need to get all defensive, I’m just trying to help.. I’m not gonna let myself go in college” and I am fighting back tears at this point. I HATE CRYING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. I believe it makes me look ugly, and it’s not a weakness thing, because I really am an emotional person.

Ugh, So I just pretend to sleep, because, really this is making me very tired.

I try to leave and “Angel’s” mantoy is behind me, so she yells at me and is like “Don’t run into my car” and I’m just like “Don’t worry, I won’t” even though I really really wanted to.

I feel like there was really no reason for her to be so rude to me. Seriously, I am aware that I am not as fit as I used to be, and I really am TRYING to get in shape. I feel like even though she is supposedly my friend, that it is really not her place to tell me this. Leave it to my best friends, Angel.

PS. Please, try to not gain weight when you go off to college, I don’t want someone to hurt you as bad as you hurt me. This I sincerly hope.

Frustration really doesn’t go well with my complexion.

So we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can Man do to me?
-Hebrews 13:6 NIV

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity
-Proverbs 17:17 NIV

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you
-1Peter 5:7

And to my Family, I am so sorry for how rude I have been to you. I do not mean it at you, Frustration fuels my grief.

God Bless,
Lucky

There’s a boy she likes…

Well, he’s really more of a man. And quite possibly impossibly far out of my league. (I told you I’d be writing again tonight!). He’s really tall, not quite dark, but definitly handsome. He’s got a rocking bod, a great smile, pretty eyes, and these really gorgeous hands. Aside from the physical, he’s got a fabulous sense of humor, and a speech pattern that is most definitly unique to him. He’s pretty much the best guy out there, no lie. My parents agree. The kicker? He’s a Christian. But he’s also a few years older. I don’t know why that should stop me, but he also lives in another part of the country, and I only get to see him about once or twice a year.

I miss him like crazy. I try not to, but I do. My parents say he likes me back, but I’ve had no correspondence with him since he left, and trust me, I’ve tried. I’m scared to admit I might miss him more than he misses me, which always sucks. I’m starting to worry that he’s forgotten all about me. But I guess only Time will tell.

I wish boys weren’t so hard to read, I mean, they shouldn’t be this hard..but I guess its the old idea that the guy should make the first move, although I get awful sick of waiting.
I’m most definitly not a patient person, but if this is gonna work, I guess I have to be.

My best friend is a boy, and he says that based on what I have told him, the boy definitly likes me back. But he doesn’t know what to do with me. Well, I guess that’s true, I am quite ridiculous sometimes…haha not…welll maybe…..

Dang It.

Peace and LOVE

Love is the movement

Lucky