Bent and Broken- time to End this FriENDship?

I’m currently listening to Switchfoot’s “The Beautiful Letdown”. “Meant to Live”

Everything inside screams for second life….

So I was completely irrational last night, and early this morning to everyone I came into contact with, namely my mother, father, and little brother. To you I am sincerly and relentlessly sorry.
Last night I went over to my friend’s house for our traditional friday night movie night. Normally, its just me, her and her ex boyfriend, whom we are both really good friends with. Her mother makes us this amazing pizza, and there are snacks galore. I’ve known this girl since my junior and her sophomore year in high school, so it’s a good time to catch up on all the happenings at my old high school, because naturally I miss all my old high school friends.
Well last night was tense, let me tell you. Another girl, who is my friend, but may not be right now, decided to come also. I was excited to see her, lets call her “Angel”, and she brought along her “best friend” who happens to like her, and she likes him back. Mind you, she has a boyfriend. So it’s definitly hard core drama. Well, the boys didn’t show up until later, and the first thing “Angel” says to me is-”Jeez, Lucky, your butt is huge!! Talk about a Freshman 15!!” I decide to laugh this off, because that is my response to everything. Besides, I hadn’t seen “Angel” in a while, and I missed her. So we put on some music while we waited for the boys to arrive. We started dancing, and she was like “your jeans are too tight, you definitly can’t get as low as me!” and I continued to laugh off her rudeness.

Until the boys came. The hostess’s mother served us some pizza, and I hadn’t eaten lunch, so I was starving. So when I finished my first plate, the mother asked if we wanted more, and I said yes. To which “Angel” replied, “of course you do, Piggy”. Now lets get this straight. When I was younger, one of my favorite books was “The Lord of the Flies” by William Golding. My least favorite character in this book has always been the character “Piggy”, so this really hit home. Plus, she had said it in front of the boys. She makes another comment, and I am silent, because her comments are really hurting, and she’s like “geez, no need to get all defensive, I’m just trying to help.. I’m not gonna let myself go in college” and I am fighting back tears at this point. I HATE CRYING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. I believe it makes me look ugly, and it’s not a weakness thing, because I really am an emotional person.

Ugh, So I just pretend to sleep, because, really this is making me very tired.

I try to leave and “Angel’s” mantoy is behind me, so she yells at me and is like “Don’t run into my car” and I’m just like “Don’t worry, I won’t” even though I really really wanted to.

I feel like there was really no reason for her to be so rude to me. Seriously, I am aware that I am not as fit as I used to be, and I really am TRYING to get in shape. I feel like even though she is supposedly my friend, that it is really not her place to tell me this. Leave it to my best friends, Angel.

PS. Please, try to not gain weight when you go off to college, I don’t want someone to hurt you as bad as you hurt me. This I sincerly hope.

Frustration really doesn’t go well with my complexion.

So we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can Man do to me?
-Hebrews 13:6 NIV

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity
-Proverbs 17:17 NIV

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you
-1Peter 5:7

And to my Family, I am so sorry for how rude I have been to you. I do not mean it at you, Frustration fuels my grief.

God Bless,
Lucky

There’s a boy she likes…

Well, he’s really more of a man. And quite possibly impossibly far out of my league. (I told you I’d be writing again tonight!). He’s really tall, not quite dark, but definitly handsome. He’s got a rocking bod, a great smile, pretty eyes, and these really gorgeous hands. Aside from the physical, he’s got a fabulous sense of humor, and a speech pattern that is most definitly unique to him. He’s pretty much the best guy out there, no lie. My parents agree. The kicker? He’s a Christian. But he’s also a few years older. I don’t know why that should stop me, but he also lives in another part of the country, and I only get to see him about once or twice a year.

I miss him like crazy. I try not to, but I do. My parents say he likes me back, but I’ve had no correspondence with him since he left, and trust me, I’ve tried. I’m scared to admit I might miss him more than he misses me, which always sucks. I’m starting to worry that he’s forgotten all about me. But I guess only Time will tell.

I wish boys weren’t so hard to read, I mean, they shouldn’t be this hard..but I guess its the old idea that the guy should make the first move, although I get awful sick of waiting.
I’m most definitly not a patient person, but if this is gonna work, I guess I have to be.

My best friend is a boy, and he says that based on what I have told him, the boy definitly likes me back. But he doesn’t know what to do with me. Well, I guess that’s true, I am quite ridiculous sometimes…haha not…welll maybe…..

Dang It.

Peace and LOVE

Love is the movement

Lucky

I got the Part!!

While it wasn’t exactly the part that I wanted, I wanted “Mehira”, but I got “Sorah”, her mother!!! That’s the second biggest female part in the play!!! I am so excited!

So here’s the scoop, My director called me while I was in my lit class, so naturally it went to my voicemail. She also sent me an email, and when I checked my laptop email a few minutes ago, there it was! I immediatly called my mom, I WAS SHAKING SO HARD!!!!

You see, I got cast in ONE play in high school, at the very end of my senior year, and it was THE SMALLEST SPEAKING ROLE. Mostly because we got a new director who played major favorites, whereas our old director would cast seniors over frosh if they had more or equal talent. I suppose the most annoying thing about getting cast as “Miss Randazzle”, is that the director didn’t even let me act, he cast me as he saw me in everyday life!!!
Obnoxious, I know. Well, I’m definitly going to invite him to come see this show, because I am cast as a Thirty/forty year old SERIOUS character, opposite a man who is a vegan. Ironic, as I myself am a vegetarian.

You see, I was reading through my bible, having just become a vegetarian my sophomore year in high school, simply because I wanted to know the difference in lifestyle. I had recieved a pamphlet by mail of the CVS, the Christian Vegetarian Society, which pointed out a couple of verses on the vegetarian lifestyle to me. Anyway, in Genesis, I found these references:

So God made man like his Maker. Like God did God make man; Man and Maid did he make them. And God blessed them and told them,’Multiply, and fill the Earth and subdue it; you are masters of the fish and birds and all the animals. And look! I have given you the seed-bearing plants throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for food’
Genesis 1: 27-29

Genesis then goes on with:

God blessed Noah and his sons and told them to have many children and to repopulate the earth. ‘All wild animals and birds will be afraid of you,’ God told him; ‘For I have placed them in your power, and they are yours to use for food in addition to grains and vegetables’
Genesis 6:1-3

Anyway, I just thought that was interesting!!! I know there are people who differ in veiws, and let me just say I accept that their veiws on the vegetarian lifestyle as dictated by the Old Testament, and if anyone has different veiws, please try to understand that I am not saying this to offend anyone, I’m just blindingly honest.

This blog is pretty much me trying to re-evaluate my lifestyle, my faith, and my activities. I don’t appreciate people who insult me just because they can. I left middle school for a reason. Please be mature.

Sorry, that was just a side note to all the haters. I haven’t had a runin with one yet, I just thouht i should throw that out there…=).

As such, I am truely thankful that I received this role, I prayed that I would get a role, but I knew if I did not that it was in God’s hands, and most definitly for the best.

To comment on Josh’s comment from before; that was very thoughtful of you! I’m glad you can be here to help me, and I hope I can help you in return!!! I love it when people can drop scripture into conversation, I sure can’t do it all the time! I wish I had a better memory for scripture, I really do try, but I guess its just not in the Lord’s plan for me.

I really do like living at home during college, sometimes things get a little tense, but I believe it is ultimatly for the best.

I might write more later, as in, in a few minutes, but I’m all dried up right now…

see you all later
God Bless
Lucky

Tuesday

So it says “Friday night lights”. Well, I guess it’s only Tuesday, but I needed to get some things off my chest.
I’ve tried writing in a blog before, but that didn’t work out so well. Truth is, I got two whole entries in, before losing it all. No, it’s still on the net, but I can’t log in. Such is life.

My auto-bio says I’m a Christian, and that is true, I am so in love with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, even though normally when a kid goes to college, they tend to rebel just a teeny bit from what they’re taught.

As such, I’m living at home while I’m in my first to years of college. Sometimes life is pretty good, sometimes I wish I had just moved out with the guys when I had the chance. But NO

Mom and Dad say “they will take advantage of you”, which I suppose might be true, but I think they were totally overreacting. Parents always do. Besides, they knew the boys I was moving in with, so what was the big hairy deal?

I’m in my second semester, and boy, its sooo much better then before! I’m taking a Religion class, granted, it is first thing in the morning, but I get the opportunity to meet other Christians, even outside of the Baptist school of thought.

We have this assignment, and I’m kind of worried about it, we have to go to two different worship services of religions other then our own that we are studying in class. A group of Christians from our class wants to go together, so we don’t stand out as much, but isn’t that the point? To stand out? We’re supposed to record our thoughts on the basic principles, practices and other aspects of what we see, and put it into a paper.

But that’s not the only religious pondering I get to do this semster, Oh no.

You see, I tried out for a play yesterday, I did theatre in high school, and my parents really wanted me to have something to do, outside of classes. The play was something about “Gate Closes” and it is set in Orthodox Israel. So if I get the part, I get to be Jewish, which I think will be an interesting study of the kissing cousin of my own faith. Don’t get me wrong, I really want this part!!!
Another thing about the play, I met this boy yesterday at auditions, and boy, was he something! He’s pureblood Persian, which, we all know that Persians are gorgeous, and well, he grew up in North London, so he has that Irrisistable British lilt when he speaks, especially when he gets nervous, which, it was an audition, of course he’s going to be nervous!!! He also speaks Farsi, which I love learning languages.
The only catch is, he’s very devoutly Jewish. I don’t know if that’s a real problem, see I adore hanging out with people of other religious preferences, because I see it as a test of my own beliefs, and on occasion, a ministry opportunity.

You see, my aunt was a very powerful missionary, and I am named for her, so I figure I owe her name, if not her, some justice and carry on the family business. The name “Carolyn” means “Woman of the Lord”, and I intend to be so.

well.I guess i have to go now. I’m kinda tired, but catch up with you laterrr

Lucky